#$%^&*(#$%^&!!!!!

I can't even begin to explain how utterly, totally, and completely pissed off I am right now!

I am angry!

I am hurt!

I am frustrated!

I am so FREAKING pissed!!! #$%^&*($!! The expletives that are careening through my brain presently are not fit for TV or even the silver screen!

But, even in the midst of the Mt. Everest of emotion I am feeling, I am really quite proud of myself. Here's what all went through my mind:

• Where's a hunk of chocolate?
• Maybe I'll finish that bottle of wine?
• Where's a can of whoop ass I could open?
  
• ...back to the chocolate...
• ...back to the wine...
  

I stopped. I breathed. I didn't allow all the f* bombs that were flying around in my head to actually come out of my mouth. I breathed again. I said, "God, I really need You to enlighten (or slap around) the person that so stupidly wrecked me today...because they just don't get it!!!"

I realized that as much as I wanted to hurt the person who was totally thoughtless and "naively" ignorant and hurtful to me, eating a crap load of chocolate and downing it with a 1/2 a bottle of wine wouldn't hurt that person...it would only show up on my mid-section or thighs and make me groggy in the morning. It wouldn't have affected that person at all. It would have only hurt me...and I've had enough hurt for one day...

Nope. I didn't even eat a crazy amount of dinner.

I didn't use food and I didn't abuse it.

So, even though no conclusion has been found in my hurt, one thing that I can take away from the situation is that I didn't hurt myself to try to get back at another person.

I think I took a step in the right direction.

Nice work, me!