Fast Break

"Fast Break" is a term I remember from High School basketball.  I haven't played in a while but it seemed to imply speed and a total change of scenery.  If memory serves me right, when one of us would get a rebound at the opponent's basket, our job was to immediately turn around with the ball in hand and look up court for a team member to throw it to, then run like heck down to post position and set up under our own basket to either box out another girl or get in position to receive the ball once again for a lay up or other quick shot.

Hey, that was kind of fun to remember basketball...I should go play.  Any locals up for some hoops? 


Anyway, this post isn't about basketball.  Or anything athletic, either.

It's about a victory of sorts, in a weird and skewed way.

In the past when I have been "eating clean" or "fasting" or even on a diet (I don't do this anymore, but that word is common enough for comprehension), if I stumble or cheat or get de-railed, it usually lingers for days, if not weeks.  It's not just a moment of, "Oh, I'll just eat these chips and salsa and get back on the train," rather it's, "You suck!  You ate chips and salsa and can't do anything right...might as well eat 6 cookies while you are at it and whateverelseyoufeellikeeating..."  And then I feel so crummy the next morning that I just eat crap for breakfast, lunch, and dinner the next day...and the next...and the next...until something gets me back on track.  The days adding up continue to discourage my outlook and in-look, and it's more of a downward spiral instead of just an isolated event of eating the chips and salsa or whatever the culprit and then being done with it.

Messed up, huh?

So, anyway, on January 3rd I started fasting and detoxing and not only did my face show it, but I felt good and had a lot of energy.  In December I had started a weight lifting program, like for actual muscle-building, so I knew I would need some lean protein sources and, personally, could not do just veggies.  However, my mind works like a machine when things are CLEARLY mapped out and even written down.

This wasn't my case as I slowly added in fish here and there, but not in any consistent way, then chicken and when I didn't have that I would grab a handful of nuts (more about that here) and elk and bison and then soy yogurt and protein powder until things just weren't clearly mapped out anymore and it was a looser operation than when I had begun.

So, anyway, whatever.

Last Friday night Jason and I went out to start planning our 20th wedding anniversary trip and I ate salmon, grilled veggies, and 1/2 cup of black beans.  I did not eat one single corn chip.  I ate slowly and felt really proud of myself, to be honest.  The next morning we finally took down Christmas.  You are jealous because you took yours down the day after and have been freezing this month with nothing pretty to look at.  It was 60 degrees outside and I didn't leave the house at all. Ryan's found his nostrils in the last two weeks and discovered how perfectly his fingers fit in each hole.  Why couldn't nostril holes be more akin to ear canals where fingers DON'T fit?  Anyway, he's been speaking whine as a form of communication recently, as well.  His stint of poopying and peepeeing in the potty like a big boy was apparently just a 2 week phase that is now over, as well.  And, I hadn't been out of the house for almost 5 days at that point...

...which leads me to packing in a lot of "good" things over the weekend, but maybe too much?  I felt like I could just enjoy a glass of wine on Saturday with dinner, but my internal stress was building from being a hermit and only having toddler interaction, apparently, and I had a second...and then, I wasn't even craving it, but had 4 bites of some sort of chocolately, creamy, eggy, pie dessert...and then I went for a shot of Bailey's and a shot of Kahlua in full fat coconut milk.

It tasted good though my face wasn't a fan...

Not sure which day...like the swollen eye?  Too much salt on those nuts???   Clearly.

I'm getting bored looking at my mug.

And welcome to Sunday morning...the crazy hair is a result of night sweats.  I get them when I'm not a clean eater.  Just another fancy symptom you thought was just "normal"?  Not so...I only have night sweats when I eat poorly.

This is where the "Fast Break" comes into play.  I broke my fast, if you could have even called it that by then.  Basically at that point I was only avoiding grains, dairy, eggs, and sugar.  And, unlike the term used in basketball, the break wasn't super fast, if you will.

But, this is the victory part, kinda, sorta...

So I broke my "fast."  On Saturday I ate culprits and foods that were not so great for me.  But I was groggy the next morning and it did trigger some inflammatory responses in my body...notsogood.  On Sunday, I didn't eat those anymore.  And I didn't tell myself how much I sucked.

Getting back on the train, or in basketball lingo, grabbing the rebound, turning to find a teammate, and heading in the other direction to reach my own goal, that is a "Fast Break."  I feel like even though I drank and ate out of stress on Saturday, breaking my fast, the fact that I utilized tools from Celebrate Recovery and "Made to Crave" and "Stop Eating Your Heart Out" has given me training and practice to know what to do when I'm at the opponent's basket, but now the ball is in my hands or "court."

Back in High School, on the court, if I had grabbed the rebound at the opponent's basket and just stood there, pissed at myself and my team that we were EVEN spending time under their basket AT ALL, moping, griping, chewing out my teammates and being mad at myself they had even had the opportunity to take a shot, let's just say my butt would have been on the bench the rest of the game AND the next day in practice our coach would have had us doing lunges cross court, 5 minute wall sits, and running suicides until we were barfing up our lunches.

Same with life.  I actually like lunges now and do an occasional wall sit, but I'm not a fan of barfing and running suicides are for high school basketball players, not me.  However, I'm grateful for this personal victory of sorts of running a "Fast Break" from my fast break, not allowing myself to get hung up on the temporary turn-over.

*How about you?  What are some tools you use to break free from temporary set-backs?

Days 8 and 9

So, instead of having to look at my mug every day, I thought I'd couple up on days.  Plus yesterday I didn't have a second to sit down at the computer.  And I think that was part of why I woke up looking like I did this morning...

Not the computer part, but the turbo-speed.  I was in go, go, go mode from the crack of dawn, and even after a great time sitting with my Favorite Guy, aka The Creator of the Universe, I just put it into overdrive all day and pressed on, without INTENTIONAL living.  Sure, I got a ton accomplished, but yesterday was a blur.  And my eating, it wasn't INTENTIONAL at all.  It was thrown in here and there during the day, and I didn't sit down until dinner when I was already at the end of my rope.

...and to a dinner that was a FLOP.  I made a coconut curry butternut squash soup that would have been better called a bisque or broth.  And it needed salt.  So I added it.  And I was mad the soup sucked, that is until I added salt, so I ate 2.5 bowls.  Because that makes sense, obviously.

To be completely candid and honest, for me it's easier to fast on just water than it is to think about which vegetables and whole foods are legit and which ones are on my "avoid" list for a time.  Food journaling is easy:  water, detox tea, cran-water, fish oil, probiotics, soluble fiber, more water.

Clearly I can't just drink water only for the rest of my life, though.

I thought about it yesterday, and am not trying to make His experience seem as though it wasn't life-altering and, quite frankly, world-changing, but Jesus wasn't a spouse or full-time mom when He fasted.  He was a single guy out in the desert and didn't have the distractions of day to day life because He was able to be INTENTIONAL about heading out of Dodge and just focusing on His time with His Father, be filled.

I'm trying to figure out how to do that while still living life at the same time.  I can't chuck my husband and kids for 40-days or 20-days or even a week to go sit at a cabin by myself with an endless supply of water.

INTENTIONAL living, my word for the year, means even when it gets hectic and both kids whine and I have to run an unexpected errand and my baby boy is sick and it's the week leading up to year six of saying goodbye to a tender sweet boy who I wish was in kindergarten, my eyes are INTENT on looking to God for strength, not coasting on my own,  INTENT on shutting out the noise while listening to His quiet leading, INTENT on stopping to breathe in and be filled by the One Who provides for me.

Maybe it was the animal protein I had post-workout b/c I felt shaky, or the handful of raisins I ate while giving Ry a snack?  Maybe it was the 2.5 bowls of salty soup, or the fact that I am out of my Natural Magic soluble fiber that cleans out the toxins I'm ridding each day (thankful more is on its way...)?  Or maybe it was the whining kids?  Or the 6 pieces of chemical-laden gum I chewed to keep my mouth from being dry (*another post on my auto-immune situation), and frankly, just occupied.

But this year, you would think I would have seen it in past years, I am seeing that perhaps my body has intuition about January 12th, 2007, and if I'm not INTENTIONAL about slowing down and allowing my heart to process the anniversary and reality of losing Noah on these particular days, I'll give into the stress.

I don't want to live like that...

So, there's no real point to this post, other than it's clear to see that my face took the brunt of whatever yesterday was all about.  And, I got a junior high sized zit on my chin and a teeny-tiny cold sore on my lip...more signs of both stress and detox.  Other than my face, I feel strong, and will try to figure out a good-for-me protein source as I continue to do my lifting program and this Daniel fast of veggies.

Here's something interesting, though, that I discovered.  On Wednesday morning I had a serving of kiwi and strawberries with a half cup of orange juice.  I don't drink juice just because the sugars go quickly into the bloodstream and spike my blood-sugar levels, but I had some anyway.

Yesterday when I woke up I had a "pooch" on my belly and my face was slightly more swollen.  Years ago a doctor told my dad the reason he had extra abdominal padding was because of his inability to process sugars as quickly as he consumed them.  I know fruit is good for us, but, eating clean and then just adding a bit of fruit, FOR ME, showed me I am sensitive and need, even fruit, in light moderation.

Day 8 - I didn't want to wake up Jason so I moved downstairs for this pic.  After fruit from the morning before I was a bit more sluggish this day and had a belly "pooch" which had not been there the prior day. 

Day 9 - And this, dear friends, was me this morning.  From the lighting behind me, you can see I slept in.  From the wrinkles on my forehead, you can see I slept hard (weird dreams, ALL NIGHT LONG), and from my puffiness, you can see my salt intake yesterday and stress of go, go, going was out of balance.

Here's to a new day.

Questions:  Have you discovered what triggers affect you or cause you to eat without INTENTION?  Have you discovered which foods cause puffiness or bloating or other responses in your body?  Do you have any tips to share about how to incorporate time with God and fasting into a continued busy lifestyle? 

BFF's

One of my BFF's is never on the Internet and the other knows of my crazy escapades.  I had to show the one the picture from day one...she said, "Wow."  The other just said, "Why on earth would you post a picture of yourself looking like that on-line?"

I know, right?!?!  Who the heck does that?

But to answer her question, I'm passionate about, well, a lot of things, but particularly, how nutrition affects our bodies and how I had allowed food to become my god.

I don't think we just eat food and it's simply plumbing disconnected from the rest of our systems, coming out the other end.  Food affects me physically, emotionally, and when out of balance, spiritually.  Enough people have asked me about healthful eating, so from experimenting on myself and eliminating certain foods, I've paid attention to how I feel, good and bad, and am passionate about sharing.

It's not about fads or diets or even losing weight.  Though for years it was...

For me it's about stewardship of this body God designed and in continuation of the journey He put me on last year, learning to love myself.

Loving myself isn't "rewarding" myself with food.  When I walked up the aisle at our wedding Jason didn't hand me a slice of pepperoni and pineapple pizza and then slip a ring on my finger, my "reward" for being his wife.  Loving myself is deeper than rewarding myself with stuff, things, food, what have you...

Anyway, unfortunately six years ago I was blogging from a hospital room, bedside of my sweet son, Noah, and it was during that journey when my bent toward research and nutrition and the body and its functions and disease and healthful living went into full swing.

I can't help what I've discovered and I can't help but put it out there for anyone else who is intentional about taking their health back, or discovering it for the first time.  I don't claim to be an expert, just a passionate person, that's all.

So, if a day of cleansing, or even a month, or a week, or a few days, shows up in a real, visual way like a horrendous picture of myself, and it encourages someone else, I'll do it.  It's not like I'm posting pictures of my abs like Miley Cyrus or something.

Either way, I don't care what people think.  And, sometimes radical and against the norm or grain is the only motivation for change.  Painting only pretty pictures of myself was only keeping my deep down gunk in the dark.  And that wasn't working for me...

I not only feel physically great from the last week of fasting and clean eating, but my heart and spirit feel even better by the spiritual food I've been feasting on in God's word.  I'd rather binge on that kind of life-giving food any day.

And, gratefully, after my BFF's saw my pictures, I still hold the title "BFF" in their books.  Maybe not first-thing-in-the-morning BFF, but BFF nonetheless.

Day 6

Day 7 - My joints are literally pain free.  The twitch I had in my leg went away.   My sinuses are totally cleared up...no drainage.  My fingers aren't stuck in the mornings anymore.  But best of all,  my time studying the Bible is so incredibly rich.  Fasting is symbolic and a powerful way to say "no" to our flesh and stop in the hustle and bustle of the day to day to have real intimacy with a real and loving God.  

Tomorrow I'll post some of the protocol I am doing, not as a prescription for you, as I'm not a physician or nutritionist, but just because some have asked.  For a preview, however, read the first chapter of the book of Daniel in the Old Testament of the Bible.  Freedom from addiction and that particular chapter are my main motivations...

History of an Eater

The book I'm reading, "Stop Eating Your Heart Out," one, is totally awesome, and two, has assignments or exercises for 21 days, or you can spread it out over a longer period of time.  Anyway, the first exercise is to write out your food history.

Boy, that was fun.  Actually, I've done quite a bit of it here on "Confessions of a 2nd Grade Closet Eater" but I tried to go back chronologically from my very first memory of food and move forward from there.  It was a compelling exercise and brought to light some of the reasons I have chosen eating or food in general, over true nourishment.

Here are a few thoughts I wrote down in no particular order, some good, others notsomuch, and without a grammatical care in the world:

• "Clean your plate.  There are starving kids in Africa."
• We ate meals together as a family, and I liked that...
• Latchkey kid who ate crap while no one was looking because I think I was afraid or alone...Hershey syrup on saltines.
• My mom made balanced meals with veggies and protein.
• I loved going to my best friend's house for dinner b/c they ate at Taco Bell and McDonald's a lot.
• I ordered cheeseburgers and Shirley Temples whenever we went to a restaurant...that is, until I tasted fresh crab legs.
• We made homemade cookies together.  My mom didn't buy them.  I liked that.
• My mom packed healthy lunches.  In junior high I would sometimes throw my food in the trash and buy french fries and chocolate shakes.
• I remember in elementary school sitting on the toilet counting fat rolls on my belly, even though my arms and legs were long and lean.  Always had a round face.  (*this was enlightening in regard to my gluten/dairy/egg allergy and all I know about it NOW!)
• In High School I NEVER, EVER, EVER drank pop.  It was my "thing" I guess.  I cleaned up my eating somewhat and was involved in sports, so ate more for strength.  What a concept?
• I started dieting in 9th grade with bouts of Slim Fast shakes and weeks of Weight Watcher menus.
• "Don't eat that.  It will make you fat."
• Though I ate junk openly all growing up, the effects and conversation about it was more focused on weight/fat/appearance rather than avoiding certain foods for health and nutrition reasons.
• Gross:  in elementary school my big sister and I would fight over who got to gnaw on the juicy steak bone at my grandparents house...ewwww.
• In college at SAGA I lined up 2 waters and 2 Dr. Peppers across my tray at lunch and dinner.  I would also eat a Twix bar almost every day and Little Debbie shit at 11:00 at night on Mondays at Hall Meeting...the "Snack Chairwoman" would be BEAT if she forgot our carbs...
• When I crave it's always sugar and carbs, treats, "rewards", the forbidden foods - like forbidden fruit?
• In High School my grandparents told me they were worried about my weight (remember round face).  Who knew all along I was eating all my allergens?!  I have been 5'9ish since high school and weighed 140 when I graduated...and my grandparents were worried about my weight?!  Nice!  $%^&*  If that doesn't mess with a teenage girls' heart, I don't know what does.  Looking back, I wasn't actually FAT until I worked at NWC and ate dorm food like one of the kids!

Anyway, there are more and more nuggets I wrote down, but it's a good exercise to simply write your heart out on paper.  There's also an exercise to write a food journal in the book, which has been easy this last week while fasting :)  Ummm, liquids or veggies.

Without further ado, here's day 6.  (*I'll post day 5 prior to 6 so you can see, if any, changes.  Also, note, now that we are back in full swing of a school schedule, my first-thing-in-the-morning pictures are literally first-thing...like, uber early, so who knows if this experiment will show healthy benefits or just that I'm getting old ;)  )

Day 5

Day 6...and I promise that is a different white t-shirt!  I have 4!  Which is a #firstworldproblem but that's another post...when I said early, I mean, there may be bags :)  My sinuses are totally CLEAR!  No stuck joints this morning.  And, I did my lower body "Lift Like a Girl" program with craploads of energy!  Even extra reps...

I'll leave you with this, from a scripture card my friend printed and laminated for me years ago which I keep on my jewelry box sitting in my closet:

"Because your love is better than life, my lips will glorify you.  I will praise you as long as I live, in your name I will lift up my hands.  My soul will be satisfied as with the richest of foods; with singing lips my mouth will praise you."  Psalm 63:3-5 NIV

Here it is in the Message:

"God - you're my God!  I can't get enough of you!  I've worked up such hunger and thirst for God, traveling across dry and weary deserts.  So here I am in the place of worship, eyes open, drinking in your strength and glory.  In your generous love I am really living at last!  My lips brim praises like fountains.  I bless you every time I take a breath; My arms wave like banners of praise to you."

The Face of Detox

*Warning!!!  There very well may be expletives.  I don't know.  I'll just see how it all flows out of me...I warned you!


No way.  No how.

Huh-uh.

I wasn't going to share this portion of my journey.  I mean, who in their RIGHT mind actually posts crappy pictures of themselves on-line?  Right?!  Except I was curious.

I'll get to that in a minute...

I swung by for a visit with my 96 year-old grandpa the other day.  I was curious.  I mean, 96 is up there, you know?  Now, think about it.  My gramps was born in 1917.  He isn't the face of youth, currently, but he's likely older than you.  I asked him what he ate as a kid, growing up...how often his mom made baked goods.  This was his answer:

"I ate a lot of vegetables and fruit.  We ate potatoes, too.  We had meat a few times a week, not at every meal.  We ate a lot of fish and chicken, mostly.  Eggs.  We had cake or cookies maybe once a month or maybe twice...for a birthday or something.  We ate fruit for dessert.  You know what the problem is with everyone today?  They're eating too many damned processed foods, it's making everyone sick and obese.  No one needs to eat as much food as we seem to think we need in America."

I didn't even ask my grandpa "What the problem was..."  I just was curious what it was that he ate as a kid.  My grandpa doesn't even know what the Internet is.  He has a cell phone he rarely uses and watches a TV at his retirement home in between naps, but it's not like he's done 10-15 years of research like I've done, either in books or on-line, to know we've both come to the same conclusion...

...so, yes, that means I could have just asked my grandpa this forever ago and saved myself a lot of work.  But, I'm grateful to do the research and also to have it confirmed through wisdom which comes from history and time.

So, as I said, I was curious.  With the holidays I ate my fair share of treats, albeit gluten free and mostly egg free, but I ate bites here and there of my major food allergens, along with a little wine over the season which I had been off of for 3 months.

And I was feeling more and more crummy.  In the mornings I felt as if I'd been hit by a truck.  My knuckles were getting stuck in an arthritic position upon wakening.  My sleep sucked.  My joints were achy.  My eyes were puffy and my skin saggy and grayish.  I had major sinus drainage, gas, bloating, and had gained, easily, 10 lbs, which I could tell by only being able to wear one pair of jeans by the end of break...the not-so-skinny jeans.

Knowing me, I had to do something radical.  So, last Wednesday after conscious indulgence of chocolate and wine and even a regular gluten-y, egg, and buttery cookie, I declared to myself I was going to start a fast Thursday morning...and I wanted to take a picture of myself each morning specifically to see if my face would brighten just from eating healthier food.

My protocol is a combo of things I've done over the years and read here and there, but the premise was to start out on water and cran-water with arabinogalactan from Biosanes while taking my supplements (fish oil, pro-biotics, women's multi) for the first 6 days (I set that because from last Thursday to tomorrow, my birthday, is 6 days) and then I'd add vegetables for a time.

Well, how it's gone so far is day 1 was all liquids, day 2 I had a lettuce salad with roasted veggies at dinner (Jason's belated work Christmas party).  Day 3 I had liquids, including a "Virgin Mary" consisting of V8 and Garden of Life Greens with a shot of Tabasco.  Day 4, a lettuce salad with roasted veggies and salsa for lunch and kale and broccoli for dinner.  Day 5 (today), clear liquids.  Tomorrow will be day 6 and I'll have a meal with my family of lettuce and more roasted veggies at dinner, but I'll document that when it happens.

Then, for the rest of January I am going to eat veggies, one piece of fruit a day, and will eventually add in fish one week, chicken the next, and beef/bison/buffalo the final week.  Maybe.  I might just stick with veggies all month.  Because I feel so clean already.

My doctor is on board with all of this (saw him today) and recommended a non-genetically modified soy protein if I am not going to eat meat the rest of the month, ONLY because I am also currently on week 4 of a 15-week lifting program called, "Lift Like a Girl."  I've got some pipes.  Don't mess ;)

So, starting tomorrow, I'll get you up to date, but, oh my gosh, let's just say, who the hell needs a picture of some other girls ripped abs or tight thighs to motivate when all I had to do was scare the hell out of myself by taking a first-thing-in-the-morning self-portrait?!  Actually, that was the cherry on top...the way I was FEELING was more of my motivation!  I took the pictures to see if how I felt matched how I actually looked in the mirror.

Yep.  It did.

But, seriously!  I'm not interested in looking at a picture of some other girl's great arms as inspiration...I'm more interested in taking charge of my own health, being a good steward of this temple God has called "me", and seeing my own healthy arms in the mirror one day.  Looking at a magazine with retouched pictures of women with rad bodies doesn't inspire me, instead it makes me want to eat more chocolate.

Looking at myself in these pictures has had the OPPOSITE effect!

So, without further ado, holy crap, holy crap, holy crap...*the following are untouched first-thing-in-the-morning pictures.  Brace your friggin' self!

Day 1- holy shit...Thursday, 1/3, Happy Friggin' New Year, Adrienne!  Point taken.

After one day of liquids and one seriously tough mother Zumba workout with the Amazing Ashleigh at HotFitness in Castle Rock, CO

Day 2 - okay...so I don't look like I was hit by a truck, right?!  Well, maybe a small one.  One day.  ONE, people.

Day 3 - feeling good, less sinus drainage, but joints still stuck in morning, and yes, I wore the same pajama shirt...

Day 4 - Em in background with her new short haircut,  looking a little puffy, likely from salt in salsa and roasted veggies, but feeling good, minus achy muscles from lifting like a girl.  Okay, yeah, I need to throw that shirt in the wash...

Day 5 - I wore an orange t-shirt to bed and it made the first picture coloration weird, so I slung a white towel over my chest.  Also was trying to avoid a porn shot of Jason in the shower behind me...anyway, woke up feeling great.  Sinus drainage almost entirely gone, no stiff joints this morning, just sore pipes.  No stinky gas or bloating.  And, and, AND I fit in my favorite jeans.  AND, and, And, I don't miss sugar or starches AT ALL.

 And here's a last pic I took just a couple of hours ago.  I do have on eye make up and some bronzer, which works friggin' miracles, but I wouldn't want to leave you with a horror shot from the previous pictures in your head.  You don't need nightmares.  I'm nice like that.

If ANYONE is interested in doing a Daniel Fast (which, by the way, ROCKS, when doing along with reading and studying the actual book of Daniel!!!) or just cleaning up and breaking free from food addiction (*reading THIS right now...) and want to join me here or share your experience, let me know :)  I always like team sports!

I don't know how to add a "Linky" but maybe someone who does could tell me...???

See you tomorrow, bright and early!  Ugh.

Accountability

I know I haven't been here in a while.

I haven't felt like writing, one because I'm sick of the same old story.  Two because, for the most part, I'm doing well.  Three, because I don't feel like I'm really encouraging anyone else when I write here, so I'm kind of like, "What's the point?" if my journey through crap and healing doesn't help anyone but me, I'm not sure the point in having this blog.

There are plenty of recipe blogs out there, and that's not the point of this place, anyway.  And, being married to a guy who helps women and children in Third World Countries makes me nauseous that I even have ever struggled with putting food first, before God, and others.

There are some scriptures about fasting in the Bible.  One of the important elements of fasting is not doing it so others look on and "ooh and ahhh" over your outward spirituality.  As a result, I hesitated from writing a couple months ago about a fast that I did because I didn't want to draw attention to it.  However, I have to say, the benefits for my heart and mind were so encouraging, that I wanted to share a snippet with you here.

So, my struggle has NEVER been that I don't eat ENOUGH food, but too much, or really, just mindlessly...seeking something, whether comfort, instant gratification, consoling, in food, rather than in God alone.  The lines of food for comfort and food for sustenance have crossed and become a blur.  I was never good at fasting, if that's something you can actually be "good" at?  There was only one other time in my life I've fasted, one, for pure reasons, and two, where God literally provided all the energy I sought.  That was when Noah was in the hospital.

Anyway, in early August I did a week long fast of water and green juice, along with my daily supplements of a multi-vitamin, probiotics, and fish-oils.  I didn't want the week to end.  I wasn't hungry at all and each time I sat at the dining room table to read God's word, write, and pray, it was like a 5-course meal (gluten-free/dairy-free/egg-free, of course!)  Just kidding!

By Jean Fortunet (Own work) [CC-BY-1.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/1.0)], via Wikimedia Commons

And then the week ended, I had a good week or two, and then life started to creep in, slowly, here and there, lies, busyness, doubt, obsessive thoughts, and choice by choice, my mouth became a garbage can...not in the cool way, like, a cussing machine, have you, but just a place where I'd put food without thinking about it.

Thankfully I've been talking daily with God about this and have slowed down, laid it at His feet, and sought His face for the "Why?" of why I brat-ishly continue to put Him second to something as TEMPORARILY filling as food!!!!  And, on a practical side, I've literally SLOWED down my eating, smaller bites, sitting, actually thinking about what I'm doing rather than eating between running here and there or doing this or that.

All this to say, I'm doing a study on Daniel right now and I'm only on chapter 2.  Talk about knocking my socks off!  Good stuff!  And, of course, the first chapter talks about how Danny and his friends set themselves apart for God's purposes, spiritually, and also practically or physically, by NOT eating the king's food.  And, OF COURSE, they were found to be more physically fit and spiritually in tune.  You don't say...you mean cutting out the clutter and excess is actually beneficial?!  Duh (duh, to me...)

A wise saying I once heard and have quoted and quoted and quoted, is:

"Without accountability there is no motivation for change."

I'm sick of quoting it.  I want to live it.

I'm posting HERE for the rest of the story...