A 21 Salute to Kale Chips

I love kale.  I eat it twice a week...at least.

Until 3 years ago, however, I hadn't even heard of the glorious green leafy vegetable that is really good for my blood type, I'm an "O", and my taste buds.

At first I only tried kale tossed with olive oil and sea salt, then baked at 325 degrees for 15 minutes, producing one amazing snack.  Then I branched out and put it into homemade soup recipes with butternut squash, tons of veggies,  and Italian spices.

One day my toddler was helping me in the kitchen and wanted a kale chip before it went into the oven.  I put a couple of pieces of kale tossed with olive oil and salt on his plate and that little stinker kept running up to the pan to steal more pieces before I could even cook them.  Thus, he introduced our love of raw kale in the house.  Since then I've been eating kale as my salad base with whatever salad dressing I decide to concoct that day.

And then I discovered a rare delicacy...and when you think delicacy, yes, it's expensive and NOT part of my weekly budget.

Commercial kale chips.  

For 2 ounces, my local grocer sells a national brand for $5.55.  You can buy them on-line for even more.  Sheesh!  With just two servings per bag, however, the few times I have bought them, they are broken, so it's a bag full of really expensive fantastic tasting crumbs.  An indulgence only once in a great while, to say the least.

Last month I was in NYC and found a Whole Foods across from my friend's place.  I would be TOAST if I lived one block from Whole Foods...but since I don't, and I was on vacation, I headed over and just strolled down the aisles.  It's what closet eaters do when they've outed themselves...Anyway, they carried a local farmer's brand of kale chips that were reasonably priced, just so you know.  But I sucked it up and headed over to the fresh produce to buy kale and make my own because my friend had never tasted them.  And it's a good thing I did.  A woman was standing in front of the kale, just staring, picking it up, putting it down, picking it up, putting it down.  Finally, after about a minute she asked me if I knew how to make kale chips.  It was as if she saw my kale wings and my green halo.  She was so excited and headed home to make her first batch of olive oil and salt chips.

Anyway, before I get too distracted, I wanted to share a recipe I've been experimenting with over the last several months that is budget friendly and, at least according to my taste buds and those of my toddler critic, tastes so great you may not get very many like happened earlier today when Ryan pulled the kale chips his way on the table and said the rest were for him...this is a vegan recipe, however the sunflower seeds when pureed lend a cheesy texture to the finished product. 

What you need:

*Sunflower seeds not pictured, but that's because they are in the Baby Bullet container, underneath the carrots already :)

 Preheat oven to 300 degrees, and if you have convection, use it for these...it helps circulate the air...

• Kale, 4 to 5 large leaves, large center vein removed, torn into small pieces, cleaned and dried (salad spinners work awesome for this!)

• 2 Tbsp organic olive oil
• 1 Tbsp organic lemon juice
• 2 tsp organic apple cider vinegar
• 2 Tbsp roasted tahini
• 2 Tbsp sunflower seeds (I used what I had on hand...roasted/salted.  You can use raw, if you'd like.)
• 2 Tbsp raw cashews
• 1/2 tsp Trader Joe's 21 Seasoning Salute
• 3-4 inches organic carrot, diced
• 3-4 inches organic celery, diced
• 1/4 tsp sea salt

I don't puree food for Ryan anymore, but that doesn't mean I can't use my Baby Bullet for other things like kale chip sauce, or frozen margaritas, or iced coffees...

 Place all ingredients, EXCEPT the kale, in a Magic Bullet, food processor, or Baby Bullet (like I use), and puree until you have a paste that looks like this:

Then toss the sauce, or paste, into a bowl with the kale leaves and stir until coated, like this:

Make sure to stir thoroughly as the paste will clump up and hide on only a few leaves.  Kale is hardy while raw, so stir, stir, stir.

If you don't live near a Trader Joe's, don't freak.  I'm not going to lie, it may not taste as yummy, but just try to find a seasoning mix without fillers, but with lots of great herbs and dried veggies in it.

Preheat oven, line a baking sheet with parchment paper, and spread coated kale pieces out so they have a bit of personal space.

 Bake at 300 degrees for 20 minutes.  If you peek in and see that some of the pieces near the edge of the pan are more brown than those in the center, rotate some of the middle pieces out to the edges, snack on a perfectly cooked one from the outer edge, and put them back in for a few more minutes.

They will shrink a bit as they bake.  They should look like this:

The pureed sunflower seeds add a cheesy texture.  Vegan cheese, if you will...

Find a hot guy, or any old toddler,  to share these with because kale chips are always better when shared.

*If you make these at home some time, head back here and let me, and Ryan, know if you liked them or not...thanks!  Enjoy!  And may you soon become a lover of all things kale, too!

The Face of Detox

*Warning!!!  There very well may be expletives.  I don't know.  I'll just see how it all flows out of me...I warned you!


No way.  No how.

Huh-uh.

I wasn't going to share this portion of my journey.  I mean, who in their RIGHT mind actually posts crappy pictures of themselves on-line?  Right?!  Except I was curious.

I'll get to that in a minute...

I swung by for a visit with my 96 year-old grandpa the other day.  I was curious.  I mean, 96 is up there, you know?  Now, think about it.  My gramps was born in 1917.  He isn't the face of youth, currently, but he's likely older than you.  I asked him what he ate as a kid, growing up...how often his mom made baked goods.  This was his answer:

"I ate a lot of vegetables and fruit.  We ate potatoes, too.  We had meat a few times a week, not at every meal.  We ate a lot of fish and chicken, mostly.  Eggs.  We had cake or cookies maybe once a month or maybe twice...for a birthday or something.  We ate fruit for dessert.  You know what the problem is with everyone today?  They're eating too many damned processed foods, it's making everyone sick and obese.  No one needs to eat as much food as we seem to think we need in America."

I didn't even ask my grandpa "What the problem was..."  I just was curious what it was that he ate as a kid.  My grandpa doesn't even know what the Internet is.  He has a cell phone he rarely uses and watches a TV at his retirement home in between naps, but it's not like he's done 10-15 years of research like I've done, either in books or on-line, to know we've both come to the same conclusion...

...so, yes, that means I could have just asked my grandpa this forever ago and saved myself a lot of work.  But, I'm grateful to do the research and also to have it confirmed through wisdom which comes from history and time.

So, as I said, I was curious.  With the holidays I ate my fair share of treats, albeit gluten free and mostly egg free, but I ate bites here and there of my major food allergens, along with a little wine over the season which I had been off of for 3 months.

And I was feeling more and more crummy.  In the mornings I felt as if I'd been hit by a truck.  My knuckles were getting stuck in an arthritic position upon wakening.  My sleep sucked.  My joints were achy.  My eyes were puffy and my skin saggy and grayish.  I had major sinus drainage, gas, bloating, and had gained, easily, 10 lbs, which I could tell by only being able to wear one pair of jeans by the end of break...the not-so-skinny jeans.

Knowing me, I had to do something radical.  So, last Wednesday after conscious indulgence of chocolate and wine and even a regular gluten-y, egg, and buttery cookie, I declared to myself I was going to start a fast Thursday morning...and I wanted to take a picture of myself each morning specifically to see if my face would brighten just from eating healthier food.

My protocol is a combo of things I've done over the years and read here and there, but the premise was to start out on water and cran-water with arabinogalactan from Biosanes while taking my supplements (fish oil, pro-biotics, women's multi) for the first 6 days (I set that because from last Thursday to tomorrow, my birthday, is 6 days) and then I'd add vegetables for a time.

Well, how it's gone so far is day 1 was all liquids, day 2 I had a lettuce salad with roasted veggies at dinner (Jason's belated work Christmas party).  Day 3 I had liquids, including a "Virgin Mary" consisting of V8 and Garden of Life Greens with a shot of Tabasco.  Day 4, a lettuce salad with roasted veggies and salsa for lunch and kale and broccoli for dinner.  Day 5 (today), clear liquids.  Tomorrow will be day 6 and I'll have a meal with my family of lettuce and more roasted veggies at dinner, but I'll document that when it happens.

Then, for the rest of January I am going to eat veggies, one piece of fruit a day, and will eventually add in fish one week, chicken the next, and beef/bison/buffalo the final week.  Maybe.  I might just stick with veggies all month.  Because I feel so clean already.

My doctor is on board with all of this (saw him today) and recommended a non-genetically modified soy protein if I am not going to eat meat the rest of the month, ONLY because I am also currently on week 4 of a 15-week lifting program called, "Lift Like a Girl."  I've got some pipes.  Don't mess ;)

So, starting tomorrow, I'll get you up to date, but, oh my gosh, let's just say, who the hell needs a picture of some other girls ripped abs or tight thighs to motivate when all I had to do was scare the hell out of myself by taking a first-thing-in-the-morning self-portrait?!  Actually, that was the cherry on top...the way I was FEELING was more of my motivation!  I took the pictures to see if how I felt matched how I actually looked in the mirror.

Yep.  It did.

But, seriously!  I'm not interested in looking at a picture of some other girl's great arms as inspiration...I'm more interested in taking charge of my own health, being a good steward of this temple God has called "me", and seeing my own healthy arms in the mirror one day.  Looking at a magazine with retouched pictures of women with rad bodies doesn't inspire me, instead it makes me want to eat more chocolate.

Looking at myself in these pictures has had the OPPOSITE effect!

So, without further ado, holy crap, holy crap, holy crap...*the following are untouched first-thing-in-the-morning pictures.  Brace your friggin' self!

Day 1- holy shit...Thursday, 1/3, Happy Friggin' New Year, Adrienne!  Point taken.

After one day of liquids and one seriously tough mother Zumba workout with the Amazing Ashleigh at HotFitness in Castle Rock, CO

Day 2 - okay...so I don't look like I was hit by a truck, right?!  Well, maybe a small one.  One day.  ONE, people.

Day 3 - feeling good, less sinus drainage, but joints still stuck in morning, and yes, I wore the same pajama shirt...

Day 4 - Em in background with her new short haircut,  looking a little puffy, likely from salt in salsa and roasted veggies, but feeling good, minus achy muscles from lifting like a girl.  Okay, yeah, I need to throw that shirt in the wash...

Day 5 - I wore an orange t-shirt to bed and it made the first picture coloration weird, so I slung a white towel over my chest.  Also was trying to avoid a porn shot of Jason in the shower behind me...anyway, woke up feeling great.  Sinus drainage almost entirely gone, no stiff joints this morning, just sore pipes.  No stinky gas or bloating.  And, and, AND I fit in my favorite jeans.  AND, and, And, I don't miss sugar or starches AT ALL.

 And here's a last pic I took just a couple of hours ago.  I do have on eye make up and some bronzer, which works friggin' miracles, but I wouldn't want to leave you with a horror shot from the previous pictures in your head.  You don't need nightmares.  I'm nice like that.

If ANYONE is interested in doing a Daniel Fast (which, by the way, ROCKS, when doing along with reading and studying the actual book of Daniel!!!) or just cleaning up and breaking free from food addiction (*reading THIS right now...) and want to join me here or share your experience, let me know :)  I always like team sports!

I don't know how to add a "Linky" but maybe someone who does could tell me...???

See you tomorrow, bright and early!  Ugh.

Cherry Dark Chocolate Chip Paleo Ice Cream

Yep.  You read that right.  And it was GOOD!

I like in the Bible when God made things, like, say, the Universe, trees, planets, animals, humans, etc, and called it, "Good."

I am not God.  I know you knew that but I just wanted to make sure no one else thought I was throwing such a claim out there.

I know I wrote about it at one point over the last 6 years, but I think it's quite possible that the fruit on the tree of the knowledge of good and evil was likely cherries.  I mean, really, what could have been that good that Eve just had to have a taste?  I mean, maybe a peach tree?  But probably cherry, I'm guessing...

Anyway, I did create black cherry dark chocolate ice cream tonight...and it was SO GOOD!  Which is why I snapped pictures, after the fact (like, I fished the can and bag out of the recycling bin and trash...), and told my husband it was blog worthy.

He agreed.

In fact, in his words, "Wow!  This rivals Sebastian Joe's Raspberry Chocolate Chip!"  And let's just say, coming from my husband, such a statement is a big freaking deal.  It is his all time favorite ice cream flavor from his all time favorite ice cream parlor...and my quick throw together tonight, induced by a monthly craving, gave his fave a run for its money.

Here you go:

• 1 can organic full fat coconut milk
• 1 10 ounce bag frozen organic dark sweet cherries, I used Earthbound Farms
• 2 to 3T agave nectar
• 1/2 tsp pure almond extract

In a blender or food processor, combine all of the above items on high until smooth.  Pour into your pre-frozen ice cream maker and let churn for about 15 to 20 minutes.

Meanwhile:

In a glass measuring cup, combine 1/3 cup dark chocolate (I used chips...you could use some of your secret chocolate stash in your cupboard, back there behind the good china or wherever you hide it...) and 1 T butter (you could use coconut oil I would guess but I always use butter when it comes to making my fudge sauce).  Microwave for about 30 seconds until chocolate and butter mix smoothly.  Remove from microwave.  Add 1 tsp dark cocoa powder.  Stir.  Add 1 tsp vanilla extract and 1 to 2 tsp of almond milk.  Stir until smooth.  *(Can be dairy-free/vegan if you skip the butter and use coconut oil instead...)

By the spoonful, add semi-cooled chocolate mixture to the churning ice cream so it swirls in and becomes "chips," if you will.  If it's too hot, the mixture won't become chips but will mix right in...make sure you add the chocolate when your ice cream is almost done and set up...

Umm.  It was awesome!

Even Em liked it, and she hates coconut milk!  I think the almond extract took the coconut flavor away.

4 ingredients.  Four.  F. O. U. R.  Go to the local grocer and count how many ingredients are on the back of a typical national brand.  Oh yeah, and try to pronounce them...Add the chocolate "chips" and you are only adding 4 more ingredients: chocolate/cocoa, butter, vanilla extract, and almond milk.

This was a last minute treat so the lighting isn't great, but Em, who is 10 and has informed us she has more taste buds, assured us it was really yummy. 

Let us know if you guys try this recipe and if it passed your kids' taste buds.  With ingredients I know are healthy, I can feel good about a dessert like this once in a while for my family.  We have some more ice cream recipes up our sleeves.  We'll share here at some point :)  Enjoy!

"Lunchables"

Some of you have asked what I feed my kids.  Here's a picture of what I packed Em for lunch today.  We joked that it's the only "Lunchable" she'll ever have.

The other day I used this plastic carry case to house a gluten free turkey sandwich with pesto and green leafy lettuce,  lined up apple slices in one pocket, and then seaweed in another...

Every week I like to pack Em a "picnic" lunch.  This would usually include some summer sausage or salami, but I didn't have any this time.  Pistachios, dried peas, gluten-free crackers, some sharp cheddar, apple sauce and grapes round out this meal.

Tonight for dinner we made sushi rolls.

Make sushi rice according to directions on back of bag.  I didn't, of course, b/c I don't like to follow directions.  I didn't want to use sugar, so I used agave, instead.  And, I made it way ahead of time and then put it in the fridge, so it was too sticky.  But it tasted just fine.

So, when I went to the grocery store today to buy sushi papers they were $6.89 for 7 sheets.  Sheesh.  But, on my way to the check out I noticed these on a kiosk.  They are those seaweed snacks that are usually 2x3" long, but these were sold in bags of 5 sheets the size for sushi for $3.49, so I decided to try it. 

They are thinner than regular sushi sheets (like, you can see daylight thru them) but with rice and veggies and salmon in them, they rolled up just fine and tasted great!

Cucumbers, avocados, and, of course, more carrots from our garden.

Cream cheese for Jason's Philly rolls.

We roll our own...

Carrot, cucumber, green leafy lettuce, smoked salmon

Might not look like the professionals but it sure tasted yummy!

I, approximately 90% of the time, eat Primal or Paleo, meaning:  meat, veggies, fruit, nuts, and seeds.  You know me and all my food sensitivities and allergies, so this works for me.  But, once in a while I'll eat grains and baby, it better be worth it!  And let's just say, sushi, or rolls, are so very worth it in my book!  That, coupled with wasabi and pickled ginger, and I am one happy chomper.

As far as the kids go, Em and Ryan both had their fair share of pieces of rolls tonight.  Ryan ate a few pieces but then finally just wanted "Moy, moy" of the avocado and seaweed.  Em enjoyed the food as well as the process using chopsticks and dipping in her tamari.

It's only the American mentality that kids only like macaroni and cheese, quesadillas, cheeseburgers, french fries, chicken fingers, and buttered noodles.

Start them out young with veggies and just keep giving them tastes here and there of good, whole, delicious foods.

Explore your grocery store's produce section and move beyond lettuce and green beans to try lots of other varieties.

Make hummus or another kind of dip and plate the veggies so they make a smiley face.

Every day at lunch we line up Ryan's wild animal flash cards and give his cards "tastes," each and every one, before Ryan then takes the final bite.

Make it fun and exciting to try new recipes and ask your kids to be "gourmet taste testers."  Stop treating food as a reward for your kids' behavior and start teaching them the importance of taking care of their bodies through health and nutrition.

Kids have smart taste buds...don't dumb them down!  It's fun to be healthy!

Imagine the next generation actually avoiding disease because they choose healthy whole foods over Lunchables!

It'd be wild, wouldn't it?!

Cookies! Chocolate!

Right out of college I was a nanny for a wonderful family.  I was only with them for one year but we have remained friends, and family, ever since.  We've been through a lot together and I can't even begin to tell you the amount of heart space this beautiful family takes up in my life.  I love them dearly.

When I worked for Nanci Masso, I learned a lot about healthy shopping, menus, recipes, and eating because it was Nanci's line of work as well as her passion.  She was surely a front runner in the health and supplement industry and is still diligent at work educating America about health and nutrition, a place where obesity and disease is rampant.

It's crazy to think the kids I nannied years ago are all grown-ups! 

I'm thankful for that particular time in my life, and for God introducing me to this family.  I believe it was pivotal as the beginning of my journey to really know what is in food and which foods are beneficial for healthful living.  It inspired me to watch Nanci's example in the kitchen, along with her attitude toward nutrition as she raised her children.  I have her to thank for my last days at McDonald's and my decision when I became a mom to never allow my kids to eat there or at other low-quality fast food joints.

Recently Nanci and her oldest daughter, Faryn, launched a company called "Biosanes."  They have some great quality products for health and weight loss, as well as a cookie that's been featured on "Dancing With The Stars"  which is gluten-free products!

Nanci was recently on a morning show in Texas sharing one of her cookie recipes she makes at home.  I thought it looked good and I'm going to bake some of my own soon, but thought I'd share it now since I just saw the clip and didn't think something this good should wait :)  It's packed with power ingredients!  When I do make them, I'm going to split the batch and do a version with no oats but substitute coconut flour or another nut flour like almond, pecan, walnut, or hazelnut.  I'll let you know how it goes!

(From the Biosanes blog)

*FYI:  This is Nanci's recipe.  This IS NOT the recipe for their "Magic Cookie."  Just wanted to clarify...