Holy Guacamole!

I didn't realize how busy the last month was until I looked at the date of my last post here. 

Wowsers!  I feel like Fall and the beginning of Winter have gone by quickly already! 

Anyway, I blogged in my head a few times but I don't suppose I hit "post..."

I went to counseling the week before Christmas where my counselor gave me the assignment of drawing up a business plan.  Then we headed to Mexico to enjoy some time together as a family, as well as meet up with some of our dearest friends.  Our trip overlapped by 4 days so it was a great treat to my heart to make memories and swap stories with people we love.  My 16 month old did great, though he wasn't totally sure about sand.  My 9 year old had a blast spelunking for shells and chasing waves with her friends.  She also didn't mind the three day passes we got to enjoy at the all-inclusive where our friends stayed.

"What?  You mean I can eat guacamole and get fruity tropical drinks all day just because I'm wearing this ugly plastic bracelet?!  Cool!!"

And eat we did.  We stayed at another friend's place that had a full kitchen so we headed to the grocery store the first day and stocked up on avocados, fresh salsa, totopos (thick, thick corn chips found in Mexico that rock the chip world...), almond milk, cactus and bananas, oh, and pork rind.  Just KIDDING!  EWWW!  But seriously, they do have 2'x2' pieces of fried pork rind hanging in the deli section of the store.  My friend Russ from Louisiana would like that, but me, notsomuch.

Anyway, I have to tell you the good, the bad and the ugly.  There was no scale at the condo but I was on vacation and really my thoughts weren't wrapped up with numbers or if I was going to post a Friday weigh-in.  I was actually pretty proud of myself.  I knew from many past trips to Mexico, however, plus confirmed blood work that my totopo consumption would gradually catch up with me, but I wasn't freaked out about that either. 

I mean, I was actually relaxed and enjoyed my vacation.  That may not seem like a novel idea to you, you know...to relax on vacation, but in the past when my brain was in a bad place, food thoughts could ruin my outlook and attitude toward everything.

So, yeah.  I went through a breakfast buffet and chose yummy food in proper proportions with a healthy helping of fresh veggies and fruits as the focal points.  I ate more than the average helpings of guacamole and totopos every day.  I went through a dinner buffet and skipped over all my allergens and had just veggies and meat, even skipping the dessert because it just didn't look that great.  We ate at some fabulous restaurants and I ate normal portions of great quality food instead of filling up on stuff that was simply available...just because it was there.

It was like I had my head on straight or something crazy like that :)

And, for my friends out there that know of my love for Margaritas...well, I found a new tasty drink that is void of sugar that I now prefer over Margaritas.  I know!  You just spit whatever you were eating out of your mouth and your kid is looking at you, but it's true!  Tequila, a fresh lime and mineral water does the trick.  And if you want it sweet, like I did, I just added a packet of Stevia.  It's called a "Tequila Macho" and it's yummy.

I did discover another new yummy treat, especially if you aren't known to drink.  70% or higher chocolate, fresh dates (pitted, obviously) and raw pecans.  Take nibbles of each in one mouthful and it's super satisfying and yummy!  My friend salted hers which was an added bonus!

Did the chips catch up with me?

Yep.

In addition to some fancy bloating, I broke out in hives on day 5 of 8.  About 5 trips ago to Mexico when that happened I had to get a shot in my bomba (good thing I minored in Spanish in college and could navigate their local medical center!), but now I know why it happens and so, as hard as it was, I backed down from the chips.  And by "backed down" I slowed my consumption but I also knew that until I got my American buns out of Mexico, I wouldn't be able to resist totopo yumminess.  It helped.  The hives subsided and, literally, the morning after I got home to a chip free environment, the hives were gone.

And, a first.  I will tell you, I allowed my husband to take a picture of me in my bathing suit which literally I've only allowed while pregnant because I'm supposed to be rotund!  I always loved and embraced by pregnant belly.  And besides, no one knew my pregnant thighs were just as big when I wasn't pregnant :)  But he has known now for 20 years that a picture of me in a bathing suit is about as allowable as the Pope getting married.

The act of having this picture of me, and not deleting it already from the camera or computer, is a huge step for me.  I'm learning to love myself and chill out a little.  

I didn't bring home any Mexican gut bugs, but what I did bring home, though, was a renewed attitude, a better outlook, a fresh ambition for life in general and 3 more sun spots.

Oh yeah...I had a counseling visit after I returned from Mexico and shared my business plan with her.  I have another appointment next week, but first, starting tonight for the next 8 weeks, I'm going to a women's only group session...one on freedom from addiction.  

Happy NEW Year!  Happy NEW You!  Happy NEW Me!

(Here's the pic...I never said it was full-length, but it's a start for me.  And no, I won't be posting full-length pics of me in my suit eh-ver.  Just the fact that I wore one in public without a cover-up on from head to toe was a big deal for me.  I'm starting to embrace my almost 40 year old self and I'm good!)