McBigFatProblem

I have a confession.

In the summer of 1988, my parents made me get a summer job.  Apparently going to swim team in the morning for an hour and a half, then coming home to lay out in the pool for 6 more hours with a pitcher of sun tea and jug of baby oil, working on my tan lines, wasn't a real job.

Who knew?

I kid, but seriously.

I worked at McDonald's.

(*Pause.)

I will wait as you catch your breath, come to, reorient, whatever you need to do to continue reading here.

I will write that again in order for it to soak in...I worked at McDonald's.

#instagram #confession #notlovinit

We all have those jobs from adolescence we look back and are able to laugh at...and there really is so much to laugh at regarding this whole scenario.  Oh, the irony!  Hindsight brings such clarity, as well as research, educational films, websites, and nutritional books, but the information I've gleaned from this clarity isn't funny at all.  The black leather Keds to go with my black polyester pants, Golden Arches on the rear pocket...that's funny.  After only one summer of working there in my whole life, the fact that I can still say, "Hi!  Welcome to McDonald's.  My name is Adrienne.  May I take your order?"  Disturbing, yet funny. 

Over the years learning about health and nutrition, eating as close to the way God created food in the first place, then feeling the effects of it in my body, as well as my brain and energy, do make me look back and laugh at this picture, but cringe I had anything to do with Big Brother and our rampant health crisis in America to any degree.

The idea I actually thought eating there on my breaks was still a good idea even after orientation and training, well, hindsight reveals this not funny at all!  More of a brainwash session, really.

The owners were very honest, hard-working people who owned several franchises.  Physically, they didn't look as if they ate at Mickey D's regularly.  Our particular location was clean and well managed.  All that to say, truth be told, the last time I ate there was while I was pregnant with Emily, first trimester.  I wanted what the "SuperSize" guy craved:  I wanted fat and grease.  I drove through the Drive-Thru and had a cheeseburger, hold the mustard, not because I don't like mustard, I actually love it and craved it while pregnant with Ryan, but because I knew they had to make me a fresh burger if I put in a "special order."  If you are into math, Em's entering 6th grade, so that's how long it's been...

What's the point of this post, besides making fun of my high school summer job?  Well, let's just say, even as a high school kid, I knew deep down inside that smelling like a french fry every day for an entire summer, and eating a cheeseburger without mustard each day on my break, could not be good for me.  Just like out of a commercial, the next summer and summer after, I worked next door at Subway.

Which is a totally different story altogether and a load of laughs for another post, but back to the point of this one...

God created our bodies to understand the foods HE created.  And if God did make burgers, do you think He'd put up to 100 cows into one?  And did you know He created them to eat grass?  The stomachs of cows were designed to eat grass, not corn.  But setting meat aside altogether since that's a hot topic, we wonder why we are sick and diseased, achy and growing old at an alarming rate, earlier than in history...maybe "alive" longer, but not really LIVING.

*Just something to think on:  If God designed our DNA to understand the DNA in foods He designed, wouldn't it make sense that we feel better when we eat a majority of foods in the "whole food" category?

I ask this, not because I am perfect and don't ever eat GMO foods or foods in aisles in boxes with words I'm unable to pronounce since I failed chemistry, but I ask this of myself, and challenge myself, to choose the foods which are closer to the way God designed them in the first place, because, maybe, just maybe, my body will flourish and feel strong as a result.

Do I do this 100% of every day?  Nope.  As a rule of thumb, I eat "clean" 85-90% of the time, then depending on the events of the week or upcoming holidays, I'll let loose a bit.  You can bet chocolate in some form is on the agenda.  I usually can feel the effects pretty quickly, but once I get back on my "clean" wagon routine, I'm feeling good again.

If you are achy, dealing with bloating, gassy, arthritic, tired, cranky, short-tempered, experiencing memory loss, sleep deprivation, intense cravings, and whatever other things you may just think "go along with aging," I dare you, even if you don't eat at McDon*alds, the next time you go to the grocery store or to a restaurant or search the web for a new recipe to serve yourself or your family, ask yourself the question above, marked with an asterisk, in bold and italics.

And then listen to your body and see how you feel.

If we don't believe our digestive systems have anything to do with our current state of health, we're just drinking the Kool-Aid.

10 Things I Hate About Me

This post was intended for this blog, but let's be honest, it's not something I can "compartmentalize."

Have a good weekend!

A 21 Salute to Kale Chips

I love kale.  I eat it twice a week...at least.

Until 3 years ago, however, I hadn't even heard of the glorious green leafy vegetable that is really good for my blood type, I'm an "O", and my taste buds.

At first I only tried kale tossed with olive oil and sea salt, then baked at 325 degrees for 15 minutes, producing one amazing snack.  Then I branched out and put it into homemade soup recipes with butternut squash, tons of veggies,  and Italian spices.

One day my toddler was helping me in the kitchen and wanted a kale chip before it went into the oven.  I put a couple of pieces of kale tossed with olive oil and salt on his plate and that little stinker kept running up to the pan to steal more pieces before I could even cook them.  Thus, he introduced our love of raw kale in the house.  Since then I've been eating kale as my salad base with whatever salad dressing I decide to concoct that day.

And then I discovered a rare delicacy...and when you think delicacy, yes, it's expensive and NOT part of my weekly budget.

Commercial kale chips.  

For 2 ounces, my local grocer sells a national brand for $5.55.  You can buy them on-line for even more.  Sheesh!  With just two servings per bag, however, the few times I have bought them, they are broken, so it's a bag full of really expensive fantastic tasting crumbs.  An indulgence only once in a great while, to say the least.

Last month I was in NYC and found a Whole Foods across from my friend's place.  I would be TOAST if I lived one block from Whole Foods...but since I don't, and I was on vacation, I headed over and just strolled down the aisles.  It's what closet eaters do when they've outed themselves...Anyway, they carried a local farmer's brand of kale chips that were reasonably priced, just so you know.  But I sucked it up and headed over to the fresh produce to buy kale and make my own because my friend had never tasted them.  And it's a good thing I did.  A woman was standing in front of the kale, just staring, picking it up, putting it down, picking it up, putting it down.  Finally, after about a minute she asked me if I knew how to make kale chips.  It was as if she saw my kale wings and my green halo.  She was so excited and headed home to make her first batch of olive oil and salt chips.

Anyway, before I get too distracted, I wanted to share a recipe I've been experimenting with over the last several months that is budget friendly and, at least according to my taste buds and those of my toddler critic, tastes so great you may not get very many like happened earlier today when Ryan pulled the kale chips his way on the table and said the rest were for him...this is a vegan recipe, however the sunflower seeds when pureed lend a cheesy texture to the finished product. 

What you need:

*Sunflower seeds not pictured, but that's because they are in the Baby Bullet container, underneath the carrots already :)

 Preheat oven to 300 degrees, and if you have convection, use it for these...it helps circulate the air...

• Kale, 4 to 5 large leaves, large center vein removed, torn into small pieces, cleaned and dried (salad spinners work awesome for this!)

• 2 Tbsp organic olive oil
• 1 Tbsp organic lemon juice
• 2 tsp organic apple cider vinegar
• 2 Tbsp roasted tahini
• 2 Tbsp sunflower seeds (I used what I had on hand...roasted/salted.  You can use raw, if you'd like.)
• 2 Tbsp raw cashews
• 1/2 tsp Trader Joe's 21 Seasoning Salute
• 3-4 inches organic carrot, diced
• 3-4 inches organic celery, diced
• 1/4 tsp sea salt

I don't puree food for Ryan anymore, but that doesn't mean I can't use my Baby Bullet for other things like kale chip sauce, or frozen margaritas, or iced coffees...

 Place all ingredients, EXCEPT the kale, in a Magic Bullet, food processor, or Baby Bullet (like I use), and puree until you have a paste that looks like this:

Then toss the sauce, or paste, into a bowl with the kale leaves and stir until coated, like this:

Make sure to stir thoroughly as the paste will clump up and hide on only a few leaves.  Kale is hardy while raw, so stir, stir, stir.

If you don't live near a Trader Joe's, don't freak.  I'm not going to lie, it may not taste as yummy, but just try to find a seasoning mix without fillers, but with lots of great herbs and dried veggies in it.

Preheat oven, line a baking sheet with parchment paper, and spread coated kale pieces out so they have a bit of personal space.

 Bake at 300 degrees for 20 minutes.  If you peek in and see that some of the pieces near the edge of the pan are more brown than those in the center, rotate some of the middle pieces out to the edges, snack on a perfectly cooked one from the outer edge, and put them back in for a few more minutes.

They will shrink a bit as they bake.  They should look like this:

The pureed sunflower seeds add a cheesy texture.  Vegan cheese, if you will...

Find a hot guy, or any old toddler,  to share these with because kale chips are always better when shared.

*If you make these at home some time, head back here and let me, and Ryan, know if you liked them or not...thanks!  Enjoy!  And may you soon become a lover of all things kale, too!

Leftovers

I have a journal where I will write both my own thoughts, God's thoughts (those smarter than me that pop into my head), and Scripture.  I love writing scripture with a pen and paper because first I read it, then I read it out loud, then I write as much as I can remember without looking, and then I fill in the rest by referring back to the open page.

And even with that much repetition, I need to go back to it, fresh each day.

When the Israelites had been freed from captivity in Egypt, following their leader Moses out into the desert, not really knowing the land they'd finally settle in, it didn't take much time for them to wonder where on earth they would find food and water.

Moses sought God's face for himself and the people he loved.

God provided quail and manna each day...but He warned the people not to store up the food for the following day because He would provide fresh, new food each dawn.

We all know if we leave a Twinkie (RIP), okay not a Twinkie but some other chemically laden "food" chock-full of preservatives on the counter for a year, it'll still be pretty much the same Ding-Dong it was at the beginning.  However, if we leave a piece of lasagna or peeled banana or fresh zucchini on the counter for too long, crust, slime, and bacteria will begin to form, and we'll be the first ones to chuck it into the trash. 

Picture courtesy: laborpains.org

We know when food is old.  AND, if our heads aren't smart enough to know it, our stomachs or bowels will tell us later...We know this because God designed our bodies with

DNA to recognize REAL, life-giving food.

For years, and I admit and confess and am stating it isn't healthy, I have eaten a daily diet of old food.  Don't get me wrong, none of God's word is old or stinky or rotten.  However, as has been my practice as a strong, independent, prideful woman who is capable of much, I've tried to sustain myself on "leftovers" many times rather than heading DAILY to God in my deserts and getting new manna each morning.

I think, "Oh, I know that Scripture...I even wrote it down, so it's in me.  I've known it since I was a teenager...what is it again?" 

On this journey of freedom from food addiction, God's word has become my number one source of energy and nutrition.  The more I feast on it, the more I want fresh food and a fresh word...

And so here is something I wrote in my journal on January 17th of this year, but went back and read today, a fresh meal to feast on for a new day:

"Because your love is better than life, my lips will glorify you.  I will praise you as long as I live, and in your name I will lift up my hands.  My soul will be satisfied as with the richest of foods; with singing lips my mouth will praise you.  God - you're my God!  I can't get enough of you!  I've worked up such hunger and thirst for God, traveling across dry and weary deserts.  So here I am in the place of worship, eyes open, drinking in your strength and glory.  In your generous love I am really living at last!"  - From Psalm 63:3-5, The Message

CHOSEN

I was recently praying with a friend about my issues with food addiction and self-loathing.  I've known for a while that these were simply symptoms of deeper stuff.  Anyway, as my friend was praying for me, encouraging me to repeat what she was saying/praying, she said, "I nail food addiction to the Cross." 

This was easy for me to say...just check it off the list, yep, I can say that mentality.

"I nail food addiction to the Cross," I said...

Then, after a time of just sitting quietly before the Lord, she said, "I nail PERFECTION to the Cross."

Okay, so, those younger than me won’t know what the heck I’m talking about, but maybe 38 and older, do you remember "Happy Days" with the *Fonz?  Do you remember how he couldn't say "I was wrong"???   He would go, “I was wuu-uh-uh…I was wuu-uh-uh”  Well, it was like a long, drawn out 2 freaking minutes and me bawling on my knees for me to get the word "perfection" out of my mouth.

Sheesh.

Photo source unknown otherwise I would give credit to where credit is due...

Food addiction, self-loathing, discouragement, unrealistic goal-setting, never thinking I'm "good enough": all just symptoms of the underlying disease of PERFECTION.

Part of the prayer then was asking the Lord to specifically tell me what He wanted to give to me as a promise or word to replace "perfection."  Before I could even pray and ask Him, He put the word "chosen" on my heart.   It was so clear and eloquent in my head, it was awesome.   I've always said if a smarter thought comes to my mind than I could think of, it's God talking...and I should listen.

Imagine:  He chose me.  He chose you.   He designed us and hand-picked us, from the Beginning, just because He wanted to.  Not to be perfect.

Nope.  I’m no Mary Poppins.

He chose me simply to call me daughter.  Simply to express His love.  Me, chosen as an expression of His creativity.  You, the same!

I'm not going to lie.  Fighting perfectionism has been a weary battle.  Looking back over the years, the lines blur from when I just wanted to feel pretty to wanting to lose weight to desiring to be healthy to knowing too much about disease to wanting to eat clean.

Some days I feel free, others I'm so lost in the pursuit, I can't see the forest for the trees.

What I do know is God hasn't called me to be perfect.  I know this because I've quit reading books and blogs and websites about "clean eating" and started consuming Food that satisfies my cravings.  I literally sit down to my dining room table at the start of each day and symbolically feast on His Word.  This hasn't halted my first world problem of addiction, but it has put it into perspective and lessened its hold on me.

God is perfect, without flaw, not lacking in anything.  He's good at what He does.  He's good at Who He is.

So far I've sucked at perfection.  In fact, He is able to be seen more clearly in my life when I don't have my act together, or for sure, when I don't pretend to.  Because who am I kidding?  When I'm out of the way, you can actually see Him.

So, yeah, there's my dirty laundry.  My shameless pursuit.  Where the idea that I could be perfect in anything ever came from, well, if I travel back to a certain Garden, a seed may have been planted long ago.  I'm just thankful for this nauseating exposure while I'm still young.

I have the rest of my life to live imperfectly...


*Anyway, for your viewing pleasure and a bit of nostalgia, I present to you, Arthur Fonzarelli, aka, The Fonz...and Ralph Malph.  #happydays